Sunday, September 13, 2009

Melancholy baby...

"There is melancholy in the wind and sorrow in the grass" (Charles Kuralt).

Melancholy... a thoughtful sadness. I don't know if it's the change in weather, missing Steve, working a long day, or all of those things combined, but melancholy is what I feel tonight. Seems like everything I have been reading or looking at tonight has brought up sad thoughts. But it's a sweet sadness. One that makes me thankful to have memories of those I love. Missing Grandma Ruth tonight and my Grandmother and Granddaddy Gordon. Wondering what legacy I will leave behind for my family. I often wonder if I will live to see my granchildren. I hope so. Although, if I do, I'm going to wish I had taken better care of this body I am in. As Mickey Mantle said before he died, "If I had known I was going to live this long I would have taken better care of myself.".

A customer I have known for several years came to the store today and told me she recently found out she has breast cancer. She doesn't yet know what her treatment options are. She was upbeat and buying things to make a pink, princess theme breast cancer album to chronicle this journey she is about to take. It makes me think of the line from a song I hear on the Christian radio station, "We are all just one phone call from our knees."

Aren't we though.

In the time it takes to draw a breath our lives can change. I think I'm sitting and waiting for the change tonight. Wondering what it will be, and when it will come.

I'm ready to hand it all over to God. I don't have the power to change situations beyond my control. I can't control where Steve will find a job. If Steve will find a job. I don't even feel like I can control the things I am supposed to be able to control. For this moment I am just going to "be".

Alone, I will never be enough. With God, everything is possible.


Teri said...

Hey Rhonda, I absolutely do not want to trivialize any of the stuff going on in your life. You have lots of major issues going on now and I'm so sorry for that, but I do believe they will get better soon and I am definitely praying for that. On a lighter note, you know I love quotes so here are a few for you---I hope you don't mind. 1. Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first. ~ernestine ullmer 2. When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive - to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love. ~marcus aurelius 3. Love comforteth life sunshine after rain. ~william shakespeare 4. It is not the years in your life but the life in your years that counts. ~adlai stevenson 5. It is never too late to be what you might have been 6. When you reach the end of your rope tie a knot in it and hang on. 7. Refer back to #1. I hope you know I'm just trying to cheer you up. We all get melancholy sometimes, I just don't want you to stay that way too long.

Momma said...

Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers...I don't know the answers to your struggles or even the right words to bring comfort; but I know who does. HE is faithful and keeps HIS promises, if only we get out of the way and let HIM lead.

Love you...M

Daesha said...

I'm praying for you. Only the Lord has the answers, and only He knows what's coming. I sure do wish He'd check with me, or at least send a memo, but I would miss the growth in my faith that comes just from hanging on. Girl, just hang on. We're praying.

BriteCloud said...

Daesha, notice I wrote this before our appt. with you.

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