Thursday, September 6, 2007

My Sweet Beck

What a day of concern and uncertainty about my boy Beck. His inclusion teacher called in the school psychiatrist to observe him today. They called me last week with concerns about his behavior so far. I chalked it up to getting used to a new school year, etc. But Mrs. C. has been working with him since he was in Kindergarten (now 4th grade), and she has seen him start each new school year before.

We spoke this morning and Mrs. C. said she is really concerned because Beck's behavior has not been what they have seen before. He is staring into space, not able to focus, not understandable when he speaks, and his writing is more illegible than usual. And refusing to do his work. I already had an appointment for Beck to see his psychiatrist today to go over his meds, so when I picked him up, Mrs. C. had a letter ready for me to give to the Dr. That was so nice of her. She loves him.

Long story short, we are increasing ADD med and med to help him get to sleep. He just can't sleep without something to help him.

He has regressed over the summer. He has become harder to understand. His motor skill weakness even extends to his speech, in that he doesn't move his lips to speak and it all slurs together. However, if he is yelling about something, you can understand him perfectly. His whole muscular structure has weakened over the summer. And he had almost no socialization with other kids. It's not like you can *make* other kids want to be his friend. It's just so frustrating.

The doctor today recommended putting him in some sort of sport. I just looked at him like "are you not listening to a thing I have told you?". I didn't want to say this in front of Beck, but I did, I told Dr. E., "He is so far behind physically, it would be cruel to put him in a sport with other boys his age." Sometimes people think they see the answer so clearly for someone else. And it's just a rote response.

Steve and I have spent many hours together wondering what Beck's future will be like. The older he gets, the larger the gap is between his emotional age and his physical age. I think that is what his teachers are becoming aware of. He is emotionally about 5 or 6. He still pretends to be a kitten, which to me is sweet, but how many 10-year old boys get in their Mother's laps and want to be petted like a kitten?

I love that boy, and I worry for him. If you can say a prayer for him today I would be so grateful. Pray for growth in all aspects of his life, for friends and for guidance for Steve and me.



autumnbreeze said...

A prayer just went up for all of you. xoxo

Donna said...

I found your site through Red Tin Heart. It breaks my heart to hear about you son. I'm a retired LVN, but try to keep my nose in all the various changes in medications these days. Out of all the years in nursing, the one thing I learned was TRUST YOUR GUT!! If this Dr. isn't meeting your child's needs...find another! Some of those meds they are giving the kids today have cocaine or morphine in them...Keep searching! Prayers and hugs to you!

Heather said...

Oh, are in my prayers and so is sweet Beck.

Love ya!

Lacie said...

I am praying for you!! Through my experience as an OT I am a firm believer in the idea that the parents KNOW their child better then anyone. God gave us our "gut feelings" for a reason and we should use them!

Go with your gut and PRAY...PRAY...PRAY! We all will!

Polly Jones said...

Dear Rhonda---This has to be so painful and confusing. I guess my words of comfort are, that each difficulty in my life has eventually brought about goodness. Sometimes, with time, it even seems the growth was worth the pain. Love to you and definitely prayers for all of your family.

Robyn said...

I'm praying for you and your Beck. Love, Robyn

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