Remember the movie "Awakenings"? Dr. Sayer was able to "unlock" patients who had been in a comatose state for decades. They didn't know how long it would last or how much medication was too much. And eventually all of the patients reverted back to their comatose states, but the families were able to enjoy their loved ones the way they used to be, at least for awhile.
"Miracle on 34th Streeth" gave little Susan something to believe in. She had already given up hope of believing in a real Santa, and then one came into her life she could believe in.
We have had our own Awakenings here on Crystal Dowels Drive. And it does seem like a miracle. There has been a major emotional change in Beck. His new medication has seemed to equalize his mood and create a happy, stable child. He is able to deal with frustration. The rage episodes are non-existent. He has shown more emotional sharing in the past two weeks than his whole life put together. He was getting 3 or 4 conducts marks a day at school. Last week he had one conduct mark for the whole week and it was for being silly in music. Now that's a miracle.
Saturday morning he was singing "You are my sunshine" to me. And he turned to me and said, "You are my sunshine, you know." as he had his arm around my neck and pressed his cheek to mine. He had a bad dream a few nights ago and wanted Chloe to hug him to help him feel better. He heard me cough the other day and ran in to see if I was O.K. He said, "I worry about you. I'm afraid I won't have you with me and I need you with me."
We have enjoyed being with him. Yesterday he went to Target with me and Chloe, something I would have avoided previously, and it was a joy. No meltdowns, no arguing, just a "normal" outing.
I am almost afraid to hope that life will stay this way. I fear it will only last a short while and then the "awakening" will be over forever. I find myself looking to the future positively and then shutting down the thoughts, just in case.
For now I will just enjoy each day I have him present. There are so many variables, we just can't know how or if things will change for him. But I thank God for these sweet days and weeks of letting out the person Beck truly is inside.